After school yesterday I made a stop on the way to the gym and the rest of my Friday night. I walked into the entry looking at the various placards for the name of the family. There was a crowd on the right in the first reception area. I walked on not seeing anyone I knew. I noticed the other two names. Women's names, so I knew those were not the right rooms. I went back to the first room where everyone, talking quietly, looked so distinguished as they filled a small area. I still didn't recognize anyone. A man asked if he could help me as I wandered and wondered if I even had the right funeral home. I mentioned a name. Yes, this was the correct place. As I looked around I realized I didn't know much about this family. I really pride myself on how much I know about the kids in our school. Our whole staff does. We know where students are from, who their siblings are, and the various situations their families may have. There are a lot of situations when you have a population that represents over 40 countries, many languages, and who are often struggling economically. But I didn't know this student. I didn't realize her grandmother, grieving so quietly in the pew and her now deceased father were from Torino, Italy. That her mother was from Sicily. I didn't know many of the people in the room, only the teachers and realized this family had a lot of life outside our school. How did I miss knowing this little fifth grade girl who bravely came to school the day after her father died so she could have classmates and a teacher who loved her nearby? Was she new? I didn't know her father was diagnosed with cancer last Father's Day when he died on his birthday.
I stopped at the display of family photos on the way out sorry this was the only way I had for the moment to get to know them all a little better.
7 comments:
I'm always amazed when the kids come to school right after a personal tragedy, but they do more often than not. It speaks to the importance of what we provide for them beyond instruction.
How wonderful that you and the other teachers took the time to be present for this student in her time of need. She will always remember that you were there and now you have touchstones for connection.
I love the fact that you care enough about this child to go to show your care and concern by going to the funeral home. For the past two years we've had two of our fifth graders' mothers to pass away. I think it is important that our students know we care.
Going the extra distance for a student is to be admired. Your poignant writing of this small, yet significant moment is illuminating. It tells of your ability to connect; your humanity. Knowing our students as people is critically important. Getting to know them is like peeling back the layers of an onion. Each layer reveals something new.
You wrote this with so much empathy - it's great you were able to go to the wake for your student. - KT
Can I just second the above? Thanks for reminding us about our most important job as teachers: making a personal connection.
In crisis, don't all of us do better when we have the stability of routine in our lives? I mean, we rock and reel, certainly, but eventually those who do the best are the ones who can grab onto the safety of routine. A caring teacher provides that safety for her students; obviously going to the funeral home spoke volumes to this child about your willingness to be a part of her life.
Bravo to you.
Elizabeth
http://peninkpaper.blogspot.com/
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